


The complexity of family

by ThuraNightingale



Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: Angst, Family, Gen, Missing Scenes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-14
Updated: 2018-03-21
Packaged: 2018-12-15 07:18:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 13,246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11801148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThuraNightingale/pseuds/ThuraNightingale
Summary: What if there was another clone in the black, a little girl, who was kept away for so long but Neolution takes a special interest in? What if Mrs. S took her in? A story about what a complete family means, in the household of Mrs.S. Canon-divergent, set around season 3.





	1. Growing up

Sarah Manning is five years old. Or so she thinks.  
She understands her birthday isn’t real. She knows her last name is made up. She knows her ‘family’ is fake. They’ll likely send her back any day now.  
She knows there is something missing.

Helena is five years old.  
She knows which nun is which by the way the floorboards creak outside her cell. She knows they’re not her real family. She knows not to make a sound at night, when she’s drawing her stick figures on the walls behind her bed. She draws two little girls, holding hands. She knows there has to be another one, just like her. 

Felix Dawkins was born in chaos. He knows his mother, has a sense of her. A beam of light. He knows she’s safe. He knows he’ll be fine.  
He knows nothing.

Siobhan Sadler is thirty years old. She knows how to scrub machineguns clean. She knows what love felt like. She knows she hates, loves, no hates her mother. She thinks she knows she’ll never have kids.

Sarah is seven years old and she’s angry. She screams and kicks and spits. She knows that she doesn’t want to, but she can’t help it. They grab her hand and she bites and curses. Everything is red before her eyes and she fights, fights, fights! Later she’s sitting on the floor and she keeps on telling herself: ‘People don’t care about you, and you don’t care about people. People don’t care about you, and you don’t care about people. People don’t care about you, and you don’t care about people…’  
Maybe the next home will be better. She knows she shouldn’t hope. She kicks at her door. Maybe she’ll have a sibling there. Maybe fifteen’s a charm. 

Helena is eight years old and she’s careful. She knows how to blend in with the walls and she knows when to duck, when a hand swings at her. She knows she can take far more hits than she ever thought she could. She knows how to think of something else when they beat her: ‘Just pretend, just pretend, just pretend…’  
She knows she has demons inside of her and she yells at them, in the broom closet. She screams for them to leave her alone, but then changes her mind: ‘No, don’t leave me. I don’t want to be alone. Don’t leave me.’ Helena knows she needs her demons to keep her company. 

Felix is four years old and he’s smart. He knows his black hair, perfect teeth, gorgeous eyes with long lashes and poised ways make him adorable. He knows how to steal, when no one’s paying attention. He knows how to play them all. Smile, wave, cry when getting caught and don’t let anyone see you for real. He knows when his ‘father’ is drunk and he has to hide. He knows when his ‘mother’ is sad and he can get sweets from her. He knows his real mum was never sad. She was light. He knows she’s gone. He knows how to survive. 

Siobhan is thirty-four and she’s tired. Tired already, with this screaming feral ball of resistance on her floor. With this little girl who has been hurt too much already. Sarah is only eight and she curses like a sailor, so even Siobhan is a little impressed. Siobhan remembers being adrift, being angry, not trusting anything good, so she lets Sarah be. Siobhan doesn’t know if it’ll ever get better. 

Sarah is ten and she’s like knives and chains. She’s like a wild dog, like a thunderstorm, like the missing link on the brink of destruction. But she’s starting to trust S. Not that she’ll ever tell her that. She knows S has her back. She knows she’s not like other little girls. She knows she should probably stop stealing from the other kids at school. But she knows S is calm and safe, like a mother? She knows she’s missing something still. 

Helena is twelve when she gets taken away. First she’s excited, and then she’s not. She knows everything will change now. 

Felix is seven and he knows his sister will always protect him. She’s only twelve, but she broke some boy’s nose when he made fun of him. Sarah told him Mrs. S was good and she would look out for them. Mrs. S told him he was home now. Sarah taught him how to fight back and how to have that look about you that makes sure no one messes with you. He knows this is his family. FD + SM: He knows that’s all that matters. 

Siobhan is thirty-eight and she can’t help but feeling both despair and love when watching Sarah and Felix get in trouble. One child in the black and one child made of broken sunlight. ‘Look at those crazy kids of mine,’ she mutters under her breath. 

Sarah is fourteen and she’s with a boy for the first time. She only ended up with the boy because he had the booze. But she can’t stay; she has to get home to her little brother, even though it’s 4 AM. Sneaking in through the cellar window, she tiptoes through the house and listens for any signs of Felix or S. It calms her to know they’re her family, but somethingstill doesn’t feel right. What if three isn’t enough to make a family?

Helena is fifteen and trains like she’ll have to fight to the death the very next day. She might. She knows it could happen. When she was little she thought getting beaten would kill her some day. When she was little, she was stupid. She can fly now. Fly to her sister, who is somewhere out there. 

Felix is ten when he finds Sarah’s journal, filled with crappy drawings (he was always the artist in the family) and stories of someone who looks like Sarah but isn’t Sarah. ‘Every little orphaned foster wretch dreams of their long lost family,’ Sarah had told him once sarcastically. Felix repeats this to himself sometimes, to not get hurt. Never get hurt, Sarah taught him. So he puts the journal back and doesn’t speak of it, ever again. 

Siobhan is almost forty when she gets another kid, thrown in her lap. Only a year old and all black curls and anger. Christ, she reminds her of Sarah. Sarah comes home, smelling of bourbon, but drinks tea with Siobhan. ‘Who’s this then?’ She asks. ‘Another one’ Siobhan answers and Sarah simply nods. Sarah puts on The Clash and it’s the first time the baby seems to calm down. 

Sarah is nineteen and Felix tells her he likes boys. ‘I already knew, you twat,’ she laughs. ‘Now it’s your turn,’ He says, ‘to tell me what’s up.’ Sarah knows he can see it, but she doesn’t say. She knows he will just accept her shrug and smile.

Helena is twenty-two and a beast. She can run and kill and hide. She knows how to survive anything. She knows she’s alone and she knows there is something wrong with her. She knows something happened to her, something bad. When she was little she talked to a made-up scorpion, to comfort herself when in pain. When she was little she pretended to have a sister, with her in that broom closet. A sister who was strong and fierce. She knows she never stopped pretending. 

Felix is only eighteen when he becomes an uncle and Kira is the most perfect thing he ever saw. Of course he knows she kept the child just to spite S. But she’s so tiny it scares him and when he finally gets to hold her, he counts finger and toes: ten of each, just to be sure. He knows Sarah is happy, but he also knows something is wrong. He knows his sister better than anyone. 

Siobhan is forty-six when Kira is born. A woman’s choice. That’s number four, as her third baby is now three years old. She knows she can’t keep this black curled kid; they keep on taking her away. She stays with them for a few weeks, sometimes even months, but then they take her away again. She always comes back with more anger. Siobhan watches her as she walks over to Kira and whispers something to her. She knows how vulnerable she is. 

Sarah is twenty-five when she finally talks to Felix. ‘I know I have you now, and Kira and S, but I feel like there is still something missing.’ Felix understands. ‘Isn’t that what all foster kids feel?’ Sarah pauses and answers unsure: ‘It’s more than that.’ 

Helena is twenty-five and still draws like a kid. She’s like broken glass and dreams, not of a mother, but of her sisters: more than one now. 

Felix is only twenty years old when he starts turning tricks, but he can’t get Sarah out of his head. He knows she’s tough and he knows she loves Kira more than anything. He knows she still feels a hole inside of her. And he thinks, what if four simply isn’t enough?

Siobhan is too old for this shit when Sarah runs away again. Her third child was taken again. She knows that she was never hers to begin with, but it makes her so angry. Felix adored the little one and even Sarah protected her. Siobhan just wants her family to be complete.

Sarah is twenty-eight when she sees her lookalike jump. Sarah is twenty-eight when she sees Kira again for the first time in ten months. Sarah is twenty-eight when she demands to know where her baby foster sister went. Siobhan tells her she’s gone and that she shouldn’t get too attached. Sarah is twenty-eight when she’s so angry once again. 

Helena is twenty-eight when she learns what it means when an egg splits in two. She has a sestra, twin sister. She hugs her and tells her she loves her. ‘He made you this way!’ her sister tells her. Helena knows she’s right, but knows he took care of her also. She’s confused. Why is being whole so confusing? 

Felix is twenty-four and his sister’s twin sister scares the hell out of him. Besides, she smells like low tide. So they’re five now: Kira, Mrs. S, Sarah, Helena and him. What if five still isn’t enough? 

Siobhan keeps a rifle next to her bed. She knows she’ll do anything to keep her family safe.

Sarah can’t just love her sister, because it hurts too much and it’s all too close. And she can’t shift that feeling, that feeling that there’s still something missing.


	2. Calm before the storm

Siobhan is sitting in her kitchen, drinking tea, as per usual. In her mind she’s replaying some of the events of the last few days. With some hesitation, she touches her bruised eye. 'Oh shit, I hit you…' They’ve just come back from Mexico, and Siobhan is going to be a granny. Or so Helena said. 

Sarah is talking to Cosima on Skype. ‘Is it good?’ she asks. Sarah had been so, so tired in Mexico. She’d even called Siobhan ‘mum’. Inside, Siobhan had glowed a little during that moment. She’d never let on, of course. 

Then Felix saunters back into the house. ‘Home!’ he calls out. Siobhan jumps a little; all flair and volume, that boy.  
Where’s my sister then?’ he asks.  
‘Couch,’ S points.  
‘And the other one?’  
‘Helena’s upstairs, resting.’ Siobhan thinks about it for a moment. That mess of blond curls on her bed. The things Helena has suffered through the years. Did she really say she took out some nun’s eyes with her thumbs once?  
‘What’s the plan, S?’ Felix asks.  
Siobhan nips at her tea, absentmindedly, ‘How did Alison’s campaign go?’  
‘Fine…Yeah, chaotic…’ Felix replies, ‘But that wasn’t the question, now, was it? What’s the plan, mum?’  
Another one of her crazy kids calling her mum. Release the doves.  
‘Not sure, love.’ S replies, ‘Rachel, I suppose…’  
Sarah stands up from the couch. She feels an aching in heart, where once Kira was. It feels like she’s been gone for ages. Iceland is so bloody far away.  
‘What do we do, S?’ Sarah asks.  
Always those same bloody questions! Fix this, fix that, fix everything! ‘I don’t know, alright!’ S snaps, ‘I’m waiting for a call.’  
Sarah reaches over for a biscuit, ‘Alright, S, no need to spit…’  
Watching Sarah shove another one into her mouth, ‘I might…I might be on to something, but we really don’t need another kind of drama on our plates right now…’ S rubs her forehead.  
Going for number three, Sarah mutters, only a little afraid to upset her foster mum even more, ‘So where is she? The other one.’ 

Siobhan thinks about it for a moment, because she knows exactly who Sarah meant. She needs some more tea. Preferably with a shot of bourbon in it. Sarah loves bourbon. Probably got that from her. Just like her love for Patti Smith, The Sex Pistols and The Clash: All of the attitude, none of the politics…

‘S!’  
‘What?’ Rude awakening.  
‘Eva.’ Felix demands, ‘Where is she?’ 

The wild, dark curly-haired toddler that once slept in Mrs. S’s lap is no longer tiny. She is now ten years old and even more of a handful than she was back then. She came to Siobhan through her old pipeline. Once Carlton’s pipeline. Oh, how she misses that boy…

‘S!’ Sarah is demanding now as well, ‘Is she alright?’ 

Another child in the black, had to disappear. Siobhan Sadler is no idiot and even though she tried to hide the child to the best of her abilities, she never quite succeeded. Every few months she gets taken away again, by the same people of Social Services. Siobhan doesn’t believe for a second that they actually are a part of the system.

‘Haven’t seen her for months now,’ Sarah continues, ‘I’m worried.’ 

And so is Siobhan. Every time Eva got taken away again, S gets her back through some trick. Through her people, her network, but it's no good: she can never keep her for long. Eva has grown more rebellious and more resistant over the years and therefore S considers her one of her children. She considers herself to be a failed mother. 

‘S, will you just bloody tell us what’s going on?’ Felix shouts.  
Sarah tries to sneak a fourth biscuit into her mouth. ‘That’s! Enough!’ S barks at her all of a sudden.  
‘Wot?’ Sarah asks incredulously and mouth full of crumbs, ‘You’ll allow me to nick four biscuits, but five is crossing the line, then?’  
‘I only saw four…’ S glares at her. ‘Eva got taken again. I don’t know where they took her or when my people will be able to get her back. I’m waiting for a call. I have a hunch.’ 

Felix pulls Sarah away. There's just no talking to Mrs. S right now. He's worried too and even doubts himself a little. Here he is, hardly twenty-six, and helping Alison with her campaign, protecting his sister’s twin sister, who is sleeping upstairs, another sister still missing, and counseling Cosima, still grief-stricken over her breakup. What the hell did he get himself into?  
‘Sarah, just leave her for now,’ he reasons with her while changing the subject, ‘You know Helena is gonna stay with us now, yeah?’  
‘Yeah, it’ll be good for her…’ Sarah ponders, ‘What about Alison, I thought they were taking her in?’  
‘Donnie hasn’t got the balls.’ Felix shrugs, ‘Besides, the Hendrixes are up to something shady.’  
‘This fucking family…’ Sarah sighs.

Sarah drops down onto the couch again, grabs the nearest bottle of bourbon and takes a swig. ‘Should we be worried?’  
‘About Eva?’ Felix thinks about it for a bit, ‘Nah, she’ll be alright. She’s tough as nails, that one.’  
Sarah nods. Eva has been in and out of their lives for such a long time now. Sarah has been gone for most of it, but Kira loves her like a sister. Sarah even thinks of her as a sister; her baby foster sister. She leaves an emptiness in this house when absent. Little troublemaker who is always up to no good, but brilliant for a laugh. Felix taught her how to pick pockets at some point, but she can outdo him easily now. All foster kids have a hard time, but this one is used to real harsh conditions. Yeah, Eva would be alright. She’s spent her time living rough.

‘Where do you think they take her all the time?’ Felix wonders out loud.  
Sarah shrugs again, ‘Dunno. Some place bad. She always comes back bruised and too skinny.’  
Felix bites his nails. Vain as he is now, he never lost that childhood habit when nervous.  
Sarah doesn’t want to think about it or what could be happening to Eva right now. Or where she could be sleeping. Or who might be with her. Or who could be hurting her. Mostly, she doesn’t want to worry her brother. Not yet.

‘You did teach her, didn’t you?’ Sarah demands from him, with a mischievous grin, ‘You taught her how to steal from S, yeah?’  
‘Maybe.’ He avoids, averting his gaze.  
Sarah pushes him a little with her feet, ‘Don’t lie to me, Fee Fee.’  
God, how he hates it when she calls him that, ‘Stop that! You’re such a child.’ Arrogantly he pulls away.  
‘You so did.’ Sarah snickers.  
‘Well, you taught her how to force the lock on the pantry!’ Felix reacts and it feels like he is six again, squabbling with his older sister.  
‘Did not!’ Sarah hisses.  
‘Yes, you did!’ Felix adds, a little louder on purpose, ‘You taught her how to force locks!’  
Now Sarah well and truly kicks him in the stomach and whispers sharpish, ‘S doesn’t know about that, you twat.’  
‘You so did.’ Felix mimicks her.

Siobhan has gotten up from the kitchen and both kids straighten their posture a little, as soon as she comes walking towards them. Some things never change.  
Siobhan looks at Sarah sternly, ‘Who else would have taught her? You must think I’m stupid.’  
Of course not!’ Felix answers quickly for her, before Sarah can open her big mouth again. Sarah just rolls her eyes at that.  
And then S speaks again, ‘And now for Rachel…’


	3. Helena

Helena is lying in bed. Downstairs she can hear her sister’s voice. She sounds excited. Or angry. Helena can never really tell. Like they have a plan. Of course they haven’t told her much of their plan. They treat her like a child and Helena thinks she understands why. 

She is bored and looks up at the ceiling. Look, it’s a fly. He is free and can fly away at any time. Her wings won’t work anymore now, they’ve been broken for too long. Maybe she should tend to them a little. No, she walks a different path now. She can find peace, here, with her sestra. 

Helena can’t really sleep. She’s been having nightmares about a cage. She dreams about being locked up, wailing and screaming like crazy, at the same time. About being hurt and wanting nothing more than to get out. About being beaten, but when she touches her face, there is nothing there. Still every night she feels the instinct to fix this face. To protect, comfort herself? Helena knows about this cage, she has been there, but it’s not her. Maybe her sestra. Her sestra is downstairs, she can hear her talking to Felix. She doesn’t understand either. 

She counts the wooden boards of the closet. Light blue, Kira’s favourite. One, two, three, чотири, п'ять, шість…

Then all of a sudden, she sees a figure move outside her window. A shadow in the rain. Small, quickly gone again. How did it come up here, up high to her window?

Helena gets up and fatigue takes her over. Holding onto the bed, she stumbles to the window. How did she get so tired, she wonders. She asked her sister, only her sister, ‘I’m so tired, sestra.’ Sarah had just nodded. But when she gets to the window, no one’s there. 

Silently, she moves back to the bed. Helena is good at not making a sound. When she was in convent, she could climb out of her window, up onto the roof and watch the stars, and climb back in without anyone hearing her tiny feet on the roof. Maybe this small animal can do the same? She probably just imagined it. 

But she didn’t. A few moments later a small hand pries open the window lock and, without a sound, climbs in.

‘Hello.’ Helena says, at once, sitting bolt upright.  
The little girl almost jumps out of her skin, black curls flying everywhere, ‘Who the fuck are you?’  
‘My name is Helena.’ Helena smiles, trying not to scare the girl. But actually she does; her smile is just too wide.  
‘Brilliant.’ The girl whispers, sarcastically.  
‘Yes. Much brilliant.’ Helena copies her. 

For a few moments they are both quiet in the dark. Helena still sitting with her back straight and a blanket in her lap, and the little animal hunching in the shadows. Next to Helena’s bed is a half-eaten sandwich and the wild child is eyeing it hungrily. Then all of a sudden, she jumps forward and grabs for the food. 

Helena only has a split-second to react, but that’s all she needs. She slams a hand down on the sandwich and hisses like an angry cat at the little girl. Protecting food is an instinct. Much to her surprise however, the feral girl does the same thing: she leans forward and hisses back at her. Helena blinks a few times. 

Then, after a few moments, they both relax again and the girl whispers, ‘Will you please be quiet now? S is gonna kill me!’  
‘Why?’ Helena whispers back, ‘And why are we whispering?’  
‘S!’ She hisses. ‘Where is she anyways?’  
‘You are wet. You will catch cold.’  
‘You sound weird.’ The little girl scowls.  
‘You are a loud burglar.’ Helena throws back at her. 

‘Okay.’ She thinks about it for a little while, ‘My name’s Eva.’  
‘That’s a pretty name.’ Helena nods.  
‘Yeah, whatever. What’s S doing?’  
‘Talking to important peoples.’  
Eva thinks about it for a while, ‘Did she seem mad? Can I go down there?’  
‘Better not.’ Helena advises.  
‘Yeah, probably shouldn’t with all the psychos after me…’ Eva muses… ‘Wait, who are you again?’  
‘Helena.’  
Yea…you said.’ Eva raises her eyebrows, ‘But what are you doing in my house?’  
‘Not your house.’  
‘Is too! My family lives here. Felix, and Sarah…Jesus, you look a lot like Sarah!?’  
Helena nods, ‘She is my twin sister, yes.’  
Eva frowns and walks over to a lamp and turned on the light. ‘Jesus Christ!’ She exclaims again. 

‘Blasphemy…’ Helena mumbles for a second, but then she looks at Eva and only then really notices how small she is. She is far too skinny and wears these horribly stained clothes: a grey sweatshirt about six sizes too big and a pair of jeans with more holes than actual jeans. Her faces is decorated with a large black eye and a split lip. 

‘Who did that to you?’ Helena points.  
‘A man.’  
‘Yes. It will heal.’ Helena is not sure how to comfort someone otherwise. In convent, when she thought she would die or lose her hair forever, ‘it will heal’ would have been uplifting, so that’s why she says what she says.  
‘I know.’ 

Helena is unsure of what to say next to her, so she just fiddles with the blanket. Then she sees Eva staring at it.  
‘You are cold.’ Helena states and she passes her the blanket.  
‘I’m good.’  
Helena looks at her sternly, ‘You will catch cold. You will die. Sit. Take the blanket.’ 

Eva takes the blanket eventually, but she can’t take her eyes off of Helena, ‘How can Sarah have a twin sister?’  
‘You know about the clones?’  
‘Yeah, I guess…’  
Helena interrupts her, and explains with heavy hand gestures, ‘Well, egg split in two in womb and Sarah is my twin sestra.’  
‘Sestra?’ Eva repeats.  
‘Sister.’ Helena explains.  
‘You’re Ukrainian?’  
‘Yes.’ Then Helena is confused, tilting her head a little to the side, ‘You understand?’  
‘No.’ Eva shrugs, ‘Just heard someone else speak it once.’ 

Helena stares at Eva, who is still standing there shivering, even though she has the blanket wrapped around her now. What happened to you, she wants to ask. But she doesn’t.

‘You lived here, with S, yes?’ Helena asks instead.  
‘Yeah, on and off. But S says I’m trouble, so that’s probably why she keeps giving me away. And I don’t want to make her angry again right now.’ 

It’s only now that Eva sits down on the bed. Trust comes in little steps, tiny steps, baby steps. Helena beams at this gesture though. 

‘Why are you trouble, angel?’ She asks.  
Eva looks shocked at being called angel, ‘Uhh.. Dunno? I steal stuff and get into trouble at school and…shit. And I say shit too much.’  
‘I understand.’ Helena nods.  
‘Sure.’ Eva scoffs, sarcastically.  
Helena continues like she didn’t hear her, ‘When I lived in convent, I too got in trouble a lot. I took food and ate it in my room. And I tried to run away and fought them when they took me back.’  
‘Really? What would they do?’  
‘They would beat me.’ Helena explains, matter-of-factly. ‘But I would never stop.’  
Eva smiles a little at her. ‘I won’t, neither.’ 

They sit in silence for a while, not really knowing what to say and not wanting to break the silence that is actually quite comforting. 

‘Can I ask you something?’ Helena ventures after a while. ‘Where did you come from?’ 

Eva doesn’t answer. She always has an answer for everything, some smart-mouth comment or evasive reply, but not now. She just closes her eyes for a second and shakes her head. She doesn’t want to talk about it.  
Helena knows that look and decides it is time for a story, ‘I lived in convent until I was twelve and then Tomas took me…’  
‘Tomas?’ Eva interrupts her, with shock on her face, ‘Who’s…’

But she doesn’t get to finish her sentence. Downstairs they can hear people yelling like there’s something going on. Both girls freeze. Then Eva hears someone coming up the stairs. She can recognize Mrs. S’s gait out of thousands. Immidiately she ducks under the bed and Helena instinctively shifts a little to cover for her. 

‘Alright, chicken?’ Mrs. S asks, when she sticks her head around the door.  
‘Yes, much alright.’ Helena tries to pull an innocent face. She fails, of course, but only a little.  
‘Don’t worry about the noise downstairs,’ S continues, ‘It’s nothing to worry about. You just rest for now.’  
Helena nods, still with the smile plastered on her face.  
Siobhan pauses, suspicious, ‘Are you sure you’re alright?’  
‘Sarah is fine?’ Helena changed the subject.  
‘Yeah, she’s fine…Now we just have to figure out what it all means.’  
Helena nods again, like she understood.  
‘I’ll let you get some rest.’ Siobhan said, like Helena hasn’t been resting for 24 hours now. And then she leaves the room.

Outside Sarah was waiting for S to come out of the room. ‘How is she doing?’  
‘She’s fine. Just tired, I guess.’ Siobhan answers.  
‘Mexico must’ve been hard on her.’  
Siobhan smiles, ‘She’s a survivor, chicken. She’ll be fine.’  
‘She’s pregnant.’ Sarah says.  
‘Yes.’ Neither one of them knows what to say next.

‘I have to tell you something, Siobhan…’  
Dear God, don’t let her be pregnant again, as well! Siobhan thinks and prays that it won’t be so. Her face betrays none of this of course. All she says is, ‘What is it?’  
‘I’ve been having these dreams…’ Sarah starts.  
‘Thank you, Jesus, Mary and Joseph…’ Siobhan mutters under her breath.  
‘Wot?!’  
S gives a dismissive wave with her hand.  
‘I’ve been dreaming about something strange. About being in a cage?’ 

After a while, Eva crawls out from under the bed again, only after Helena has whispered to her the coast is clear. Her hair is all tangled and sticking up in every direction. There's some blood in it, Helena notices, and it hasn’t seen a comb in months.  
But instead Helena says, ‘I like your hairs.’  
‘Sort of like yours.’  
‘Sort of.’ Helena copies her.  
‘Helena?’ Eva asks, a little unsure, ‘Would it be okay if I stayed here for a bit. Just ‘til I get warm, you know.’  
‘Yes, child. You can stay.’


	4. Music, meathead

A week has gone by and Eva has been sleeping next to Helena’s bed, hiding whenever one of them hears someone coming up the stairs. Eva slept when she could, read Helena some books, because Helena likes books, especially children’s books, but her English isn’t that good. Helena tended to Eva’s wounds with a mixture of carrot, potato and toothpaste: Strange, but it worked. 

‘What will you do?’ Helena asks Eva one day.  
‘Run away.’  
‘When?’  
‘As soon as I can.’ Eva shrugs. ‘As soon as I find a way they won’t come after me again.’  
Helena frowns, ‘Why do they do this?’  
‘Dunno.’

Downstairs, Sarah and Siobhan are preparing for Rachel to come. This plan seems reckless, wild and dangerous, which was probably why they are going ahead with it. 

Somewhere out there, Cosima is lying wrapped up in a bed with Shay. Their limbs are tangled and their scents are mixing. Cosima isn’t too sure about their Rachel-plan either. And Shay can sense it, like she isn’t all there, not really. Cosima wishes she could tell her, like: ‘Hey, dude, I have like nine sisters…’ But she can’t. So it just sits there, between them like a barrier, while they sleep intertwined. 

And then Sarah is outside, walking, just walking. She used to do that when she was a kid, after running away from school. Or when she couldn’t sleep: just walking. Walking around the city, with her black hood pulled over her eyes. She used to search for the dirtiest and most dangerous alleys and disappear in the darkness and filth. It calms her somehow. Felix could never understand it. S did, though. 

‘Sarah’s home,’ Felix mumbles to Siobhan, when she wanders back in.  
‘Don’t you have a home of your own to get to?’ Sarah throws back.  
‘Don’t you?’  
‘Piss off...’  
Sarah decides to ignore her brother and turns to her foster mother: ‘About this Rachel thing, yeah? I think…’  
All of a sudden Siobhan interrupts her by holding up a hand, with a gesture that makes both her kids freeze.  
After a few moments, Felix whispers: ‘What are we waiting for?’  
‘Shh!’ Siobhan scolds. 

Sarah rolls her eyes at Felix. S must’ve lost her mind during all of this. Sarah’s usually pretty good at sensing danger. All she senses right now is the need for a drink. So she stomps off to the liquor cabinet and pours herself some bourbon. 

‘S!’ she then yells, ‘What’s with you?’  
Siobhan’s gaze is still on the stairs, unmoving. ‘I thought I heard something…’ she mumbles.  
‘You’re both going crazy.’ Felix shrugs flamboyantly, ‘And no wonder, look what all this stress is doing to my skin!’ 

Upstairs, Helena asks Eva: ‘You know Tomas?’ She didn’t mean to ask this question, but ever since the child seemed to recognize that name, Helena has been wanting to ask her. Not now, but the question just sort of comes out, before she can stop it.  
‘Heard of him.’ Eva answers, softly. She avoids Helena’s eyes and Helena notices.  
‘Don’t worry, angel.’ Helena says, ‘He’s dead.’  
Thank. God. Eva’s eyes seem to say. 

‘Hey, look!’ She says instead, ‘I used to listen to this record with Sarah. This used to be her room, you know.’  
Eva takes out a box and holds up a record by Minor Threat. Helena sits down next to her on the ground.  
‘It is very beautiful.’  
‘You have to listen to it, meathead. The music.’ Eva says.  
‘Do not call me this…’ But Helena takes the record from her and walks over to the other side of the room, where the record player is. Before Eva can stop her, she puts the record on. 

All of a sudden, ‘In my eyes’ is screeching through the entire house. The ceiling seems to shake and the floor trembles. Neighbours are waking up, left and right.  
‘Christ on a log!’ Eva shouts out, barely audible over the music.  
Helena smiles a little, ‘I like this. Good music.’  
‘S is going to kill me! And you!’ Eva jumps for the player, to take the needle off the record.

‘The fuck is that!?’ Felix jumps up downstairs.  
Sarah smirks, ‘Helena found my old records.’  
‘I knew I heard something…’ Siobhan runs for the stairs.  
‘Wot?’ Sarah shouts, ‘It’s just Helena!’  
‘With two pairs of feet?’ S yells after her. That’s when Sarah jumps up from the couch and runs after her, with Felix hot on her heels. 

Eva tried to dive for the bed, she really did, but she wasn’t quick enough. The second Siobhan bursts in through the door, her feet are still disappearing under the bed. Instinctively, she grabs an ankle and yanks hard. Sarah comes in a few seconds later. The music is still playing and Helena has a look of amusement on her face, because of the music, and a look of confusion. Actually, she looks like a little kid that just got caught. 

‘What did you do?’ Sarah asks her.  
‘Nothing.’  
Sarah stares at her intently.  
‘I like this music.’ Helena turns around and studies the record, just to try and divert the attention.  
‘Meathead, what…’ Sarah starts.  
‘Do not call her this.’ Eva finishes, with a mocking accent. Helena smiles carefully at her, like they have a secret. 

That’s when Sarah notices whom Siobhan is actually pulling out from under the bed.  
‘Oh shit!’ She calls out, ‘Fee! Get up here!’  
Immediately she pulls Eva over to her and into her arms. Felix comes in and reacts in the same enthusiastic manner. Helena looks a little lost and decides to sit back down on the bed. 

‘Are you alright?’ Felix asks Eva carefully, as he examines her face with concern, ‘You good?’  
‘Fine.’ Eva says, quickly.  
Sarah is shocked by how she looks. Her baby sister looks like she’s starving, like she’s far too cold, like she’s been beaten viciously, like she’s stopped caring… Anger settles in the pit of Sarah’s stomach, but she smiles and says: ‘That’s my girl: too tough to cry.’ 

Felix sends Sarah a quick glance of annoyance and kneels down to Eva’s level, ‘Even big girls cry when they’re in pain. And that’s fine, it’s okay. Boys do it too. Boys cry all the time! If you’re hurt, you can cry, you can scream, doesn’t matter, as long as you tell us, yeah?’  
‘Yeah, sure.’ Eva mutters, glancing back to S, a little unsure. Siobhan appears to be frozen on the spot.  
Sarah adds: ‘Either way, anyone who hurts you from now on, will have to deal with us first. That’s a promise.’ Her face is completely serious now. 

Only then, S comes walking up to them, like she’s only just woken up. Gently, she takes Eva’s face into her hands and lifts her chin to look her in the eye. Much to Eva’s surprise, there seem to be tears in Mrs. S’s eyes. ‘Welcome home, love.’  
‘Thought you was mad at me.’ Eva mumbles.  
‘Why would you think that?’  
Eva touches her bruised lip for a second, shrugs, and doesn’t answer. 

‘You’re home now, chicken. Where you belong. With your family. I won’t let you go again.’ And that’s all what Eva needed to hear to believe that Siobhan wasn’t mad at her.  
Siobhan touches the child’s injured lip and eye for a second. Eva doesn’t even flinch anymore. Mrs. S inhales deeply and all four children look at her, for her to decide what happens next.  
And then she, threateningly, says: ‘And I’m making it my business to find the person who did that to your face.’


	5. School

‘Cos?’ Sarah asks on the phone.  
‘Yeah.’ She sounds worried, ‘Did something go wrong with Rachel?’  
‘No, we still have a few things to arrange before we can get to that bit.’  
Cosima is quiet for a while, ‘Krystal? Who would’ve guessed Rachel would choose Taiwan…’  
‘Yeah, Felix has a bad feeling about this, but Duncan gave that book to Kira for a reason, so we have to try at least.’  
‘Sarah, Delphine can’t know.’  
Sarah sighs, ‘Yeah, I know Cos, but that’s actually not what I wanted to talk to you about.’  
‘Oh.’ Cosima answers, surprised. She’s gotten so used to talking only about clone drama. ‘What is it?’  
‘I need your advice. My little sister is refusing to go to school.’ 

‘I really don’t see why I should go!’ Eva complains.  
Mrs. S has a short answer: ‘It’s the law.’  
‘What for? What can they possibly have to teach me? School’s for stupid kids, innit.’  
‘Grammar, for one thing.’ Felix mumbles.  
Eva scowls, ‘Shut up.’  
‘’Innit’ isn’t a word, sweetheart.’ Felix replies.  
‘I’m from London.’ Eva says, simply, ‘It is there.’  
‘So am I!’  
‘So what are you on about, then!?’  
Felix rolls his eyes, ‘Just go to school, so you can get a proper job later on in life.’  
‘You think painting is a proper job?’ Eva asks, with eyebrows raised.  
‘It is, actually!’  
Eva smiles triumphantly at Siobhan ‘See! Felix never finished school neither, so I don’t have to go.’  
Siobhan sighs, ‘You’re not really helping here, Felix.’ But then her phone rings. 

Sarah walks up the stairs and enters her old bedroom. Helena is still sitting on the bed.  
‘You all right, meathead?’  
‘Why you always call me this.’ Helena doesn’t even look up.  
Sarah shrugs, ‘Don’t mean nothing by it.’  
‘I like Eva.’ Helena says, after a while.  
‘So do I.’ Sarah smiles a little.  
Now Helena looks up and broadly smiles back at her.  
‘Why did you hide her from us?’ Sarah has been wanting to ask that for a while now.  
‘She asked.’  
‘For how long?’  
‘Only a few days.’  
Sarah hates not being in on things, ‘Did she stay here all the time? And we never noticed, for a whole week?’  
Helena shakes her head, ‘No, she only slept here. She went back every day.’  
‘Back where!?’ Sarah exclaims.  
‘I don’t know. She did not want to say.’  
‘God, Helena! She’s only a little child.’  
‘Yes, I know this.’ Helena looks up at her sister, with pleading eyes, ‘Sestra, I think they locked her in cage.’  
Sarah stiffens, ‘She told you?’  
‘No, but I had a dream. Погана мрія…’  
‘Wot?’ Sarah is confused for a second, but then she says: ‘I had a dream like that too.’  
‘About being in a cage?’  
‘Yeah…’  
‘But you were never kept in a cage, yes?’  
‘No...’ Sarah muses. ‘Thank you for keeping her safe here, though.’ 

‘What was that all about?’ Felix asks Siobhan, after she has hung up the phone. Mrs. S has that look of worry on her face and it makes Felix anxious. This whole Rachel-Krystal-Duncan plan is almost too much for him to handle, he can’t deal with any more problems. 

‘I was waiting for this call.’ Siobhan only says.  
‘It’s about Eva, isn’t it.’ It’s not even a question.  
Siobhan puts down her phone slowly.  
‘What is it, S!’  
‘She was part of an experiment.’  
‘Yes, we already knew that. That’s why you got her through you’re old pipeline, yeah?’  
‘Go get your sister, Felix.’ Siobhan demands.  
He heaves another sigh and gets up. ‘You do remember Eva’s my sister as well!’  
‘I know, love.’ 

Sitting on top of the stairs, Eva has been listening to the whole conversation and when she hears Felix getting up, she runs up the stairs. Roughly, she pushes Sarah into her room and closes the door. ‘Move.’  
‘Oi!’ Sarah’s annoyed. ‘Private conversation going on here.’  
‘Yeah, whatever…’ Eva mutters, as she blocks the door with a chair. ‘This is more important.’  
‘What is it, angel?’ Helena asks.  
Now directed at Helena, Sarah exclaims another ‘Oi! Don’t encourage her being cheeky.’  
Theatrically, Eva moans and sarcastically throws her sister a, ‘I am so sorry, alright?’  
‘Thank you.’  
‘Great, now I’ve been listening in on Siobhan.’ Eva continues.  
‘Good.’ Helena says, at once. Sarah sends her another look that says: really?  
‘She’s gonna send me away again.’  
‘She’s not, babe.’ Sarah says at once.  
‘Yeah, she is. And I know why.’  
Helena looks at Sarah, with a face that says: just listen to her.  
But Sarah crosses her arms in front of her, ‘Is this about you not wanting to go to school? Because Cosima says it’s really not that bad, once you get used to it...’ 

Eva throws her arms up into the air out of frustration. ‘I do not need school! Fine, if me going to school will get you to listen to me, sure, I’ll go! I’m not an idiot, you know. I know how to read, how to know what people are thinking, how to fight, how to get food and how to survive. What could school possibly add to that?’  
She has a point, Helena thinks.  
‘And most of all,’ Eva continues, with raised voice, ‘I know what Siobhan has discovered about me! I am…’  
Helena finishes her sentence, as she realizes the same thing: ‘ти моя сестра...’ 

‘You know too?’ Eva asks her in confusion.  
‘You understand Ukrainian?’  
‘Enough.’ Eva answers.  
‘O my God!’ Sarah exclaims, ‘Please, in English!’  
Helena turns to her, ‘I said ‘you are my sister.’ You dream of cage and I dream of cage, but we were not the ones in a cage. Eva was kept in a cage, yes?’ She confronts her directly.  
The little girl doesn't answer, but the answer is crystal clear.  
‘Oh, shit…’ Sarah whispers.  
Eva’s gaze turns dark. ‘S’ got enough on her mind. She doesn’t want another child. They’ll come and get me again. I can feel something bad is going to happen.’


	6. Taken

‘Sister?’ Sarah asks, still confused.  
But that’s when Felix starts pounding on the door. ‘Sarah! S wants you.’  
‘See…’ Eva points out.  
‘Just wait a minute!’ Sarah calls out through a closed door. ‘How can you be our sister? You don’t look like us when we were little.’  
Eva shrugs annoyed, ‘Do I look like the girl with all the answers? It’s the only thing that makes sense though.’  
‘Sestra,’ Helena says, ‘We have a connection, yes? We couldn’t explain it, but it was there. She is same.’  
‘SARAH!’  
‘YES! Fee! Coming…’ 

Sarah opens the door and turns back to Eva for a second, ‘I don’t know what to do with this right now. I just can’t think about it now, I have a job to do.’ And then she walks out the door.  
‘Wait here.’ Eva tells Helena, and she follows Sarah.  
‘Wait here.’ Helena tells no one in particular, and she follows Eva to the stairs. 

‘Is it a hustle?’ Eva calls after Sarah, ‘Can I help?’  
‘You most certainly can not!’ Mrs. S replies before Sarah can.  
‘I know what I’m doing, you know...’ Eva frowns.  
‘That’s what worries me. And you’re only ten.’  
Eva looks Siobhan straight in the eye, ‘So, when are they coming for me?’  
Felix inhales sharply, Siobhan looks confused and Sarah looks away. Helena is crouching at the top of the stairs, like a little kid who tries to eavesdrop.  
‘I got a call concerning you.’ Mrs. S starts, looking at Eva.  
‘I don’t wanna know.’  
‘I do!’ Felix intervenes.  
‘Not now, Felix.’ Sarah pulls on his sleeve, ‘We have to go. Krystal, yeah?’  
‘Yeah…’ He doesn’t sound too enthusiastic.  
‘We’ll talk about this later, yeah?’ Sarah calls back to Eva, as she runs out the door, with Felix following her, dragging his feet. 

‘Who do you think is coming for you?’ Siobhan asks Eva.  
Her entire attitude is defensive, ‘Who do you usually call to come and get me?’  
‘What? That’s not me.’  
‘Who, then?’  
Siobhan doesn’t reply.  
‘So you keep on getting me back and somehow losing me to people you don’t know about? Doesn’t make sense.’  
‘No, it doesn’t.’ Siobhan looks at her with sympathetic eyes.  
‘I don’t buy it.’  
‘That’s your right, chicken.’ 

As Eva and Siobhan stand in front of each other, having a stare-off, Helena sneaks down the stairs. The tension in the kitchen is almost audible, so neither of them notices Helena going to the window, but when she calls out, they notice her.  
‘Someone’s here.’  
‘Helena, upstairs!’ Siobhan’s instincts kick in at once, wanting to protect the pregnant woman in her house, ‘Hide in the closet!’  
‘I can fight them.’ Helena states, simply.  
‘Fight another day, love. Upstairs, now!’ 

Then Siobhan grabs Eva, lifts her up, and takes her down to the basement. Down there they hide, as Siobhan is trying to buy them some time.  
‘Listen to me,’ she says, ‘I know we don’t have much time and I know you don’t trust me right now, but I need you to listen to me.’  
‘I don’t need to do nothing. You know who’s coming, S, yeah?’  
Upstairs people are pounding on the front door and the back door now. They don’t have much time.  
‘There’s something you need to know about yourself. It’s not a coincidence that both you and Sarah fell into my lap.’  
Loud footsteps are crashing about above their heads: they’re inside the house.  
‘S? What do we do?’ Eva asks, a little scared now.  
‘I don’t have time to explain.’ Siobhan grabs something from her pocket. ‘Swallow this.’  
‘You what?!’  
‘Chicken, please, just swallow. I’ll find you again, if you swallow this.’  
Reluctantly Eva swallows the little chip that Siobhan holds out.  
‘Now come with me.’ Siobhan tells her, as she leads her up the stairs again, but Eva breaks loose at once.  
‘You’re just gonna hand me over to them?’ She asks angrily.  
‘Just go with them for now, so me and my people can come find you again and figure out who these people are!’  
‘Piss off!’ Eva shouts, ‘No! I’m not going with them again!’  
‘It’s just for a little while,’ Siobhan pleads, ‘You’ve done it before.’ 

That’s when the men upstairs find their way down to the basement, ‘She’s here!’  
Immediately, Eva kicks the first one in the balls. ‘Like hell I’m going with you…’  
‘Eva!’ Siobhan calls out.  
‘You can’t let them take me, S! I’m lucky to be alive each time. This time it was only because Helena fed me.’  
‘What?’ Siobhan does a double take, ‘They’re not talking you to another family?’  
Eva’s in hysterics, ‘Don’t you ever fucking listen!’ 

Immediately, Mrs. S marches up the stairs, fuming with rage and she confronts the first stranger in her house: ‘She’s staying with me. No discussion this time.’  
The man in a suit looks at her for a second, laughs a little and then knocks her out with one blow to the head, with the back of his gun. 

Screaming and kicking, they drag Eva up the stairs and lift her over Siobhan. And that’s when she really kicks off: she bites, spits, claws the walls and curses. She calls out for Helena, tries to punch anyone, but finally drifts off, as they plant a syringe in her neck.


	7. Connection

The house is falling down, or so it seems. There’s the shouting of orders and the crashing of objects, but Helena covers her ears. She doesn’t want to hear it. ‘Fight another day’, Siobhan told her. But it’s hard to listen to it and not act. 

But then she hears Eva scream. Her sister. Her bruised little sibling.  
She hears Eva call out her name in fear and anger. Her baby sister. Her little angel.  
And Helena gets up. 

As Helena runs down the stairs, there is only one thing she thinks of: she left Sarah in her jail cell. She left her behind in Mexico. She left her. She won’t make the same mistake again. 

But when she comes downstairs, it’s already too late. The men have gone as well, and S is lying on the floor. Completely shaken, Helena checks Siobhan’s pulse first. She’s fine. Then her personal disappointment sets in. She has failed Eva.

When Helena was only nine years old, they gave her darkness. The nuns locked her in the broom closet. She spent days, weeks, maybe even months alone in there. Sometimes they gave her food, sometimes she was hungry. Actually, she was always hungry, that’s why you have to eat whenever you can. Helena's wisdom. She drew tiny pictures on the walls. She talked to her demons and she yelled at God. He abandoned her also.  
Does Eva feel the same way, Helena wonders, when she is locked in her cage?  
Does she draw on the floor, is she hungry, does she challenge God to fight her in person? 

But then Helena starts to think. She and her sestra Sarah, they have a connection. She couldn’t kill her, because she felt it right away. And so did Sarah, even though she would never say it out loud. It was the same with Eva. Sarah said she couldn’t be their sister because they didn’t share a face. Sarah tries to apply reason to everything, and fight everything, but she is just like me, Helena thinks. Heart over head. She feels it too. 

So, if they could both see that cage where their sister was kept, maybe she can do it again? Maybe she can feel Eva now and find her. Maybe it’s not too late for her to connect to her. And if she can’t find Eva, maybe she can warn Sarah. 

When Helena lived in convent, she attended the Russian Orthodox services daily with the nuns. During the worship, people would walk up to the iconostasis and kiss the icons or light candles. There would be constant singing, while the people would be standing around the church. Just looking at all those icons and hearing the music, gave little Helena, even though she was only little, a sense of greatness. In that church, it was easy for her to fall into some sort of trance and let go of time and space for a little while. 

Trying to recreate that feeling she had in the church, closing her eyes and letting go of all outside impulses, Helena tries to focus on Sarah.  
Help us, she says to her.  
Come back…

After a while it becomes harder for her to concentrate. The guilt she feels presses down upon her and all the thoughts she once had about herself return: she is dangerous, a liability and no help whatsoever. Anger pulses through her as she thinks of her failing to help her sister. Fatigue takes over.

And then a sense of calm comes over her, while thinking of Eva. Falling into that trance just happens. There is darkness all around her. In Mrs. S’s house she could hear cars outside, but the world has gone quiet now. Slowly, something starts to take shape in the dark. 

But it’s not Eva she sees. She can see a man standing there, with soft eyes, but hard hands. He speaks gentle words to someone in the dark, but he has a sense of malice in his gait. It’s Tomas. 

Helena tries to see what’s in the dark, but it’s hard to make out. But after a while she finds she can move, walk around even, without being seen. She is just a spectator after all. And then she sees the cage, with a blond girl inside. It’s not Eva, but it’s Helena. 

Tomas screams at her and pleads with her at the same time. Helena can see herself covering her ears and screaming like a beast simultaneously. She, too, covers her ears. She can’t stand the memory. She can’t stand to see herself in pain. So she decides to crawl over to the cage and reaches a hand through the bars. But the Helena of her memory can’t see or feel her. Tomas leaves. Helena looks at herself, curled up into a ball. 

But again everything turns dark. Helena tries to feel around her and moves back a few steps. Then she discovers the bars of the cage are still there, like old familiar and cold reminders. Slowly, she forces her eyes to adapt to the darkness once more. She herself is no longer trapped in the cage. Instead the curled up ball is a lot smaller now and has black curls. 

‘Eva!’ Helena tries to call out to her, knowing she can’t hear her.  
But Eva moves and looks around a little. A fresh bruise decorates her face.  
‘Eva.’ Helena says again.  
The little girl jumps up, with an animalistic growl and jumps up to the bars, which she rattles angrily.  
Helena staggers back and notices the anger and more fear in her eyes. Notices and recognizes. Then she crawls back to her little sister and studies her face. She does share part of their face. Their noses are almost touching now and their dark eyes stare at each other intently, but Eva can’t see anything. 

‘It’s me, angel.’ Helena says, softly.  
Eva looks around, but can’t find Helena.  
‘Helena?’  
She can hear me, Helena almost jumps for joy inside.  
‘It’s okay, angel. I will get you out.’  
‘Helena?’ Eva says again, as tears begin to form in her eyes.

‘Where are you?’ Helena asks her, urgently.  
Eva doesn’t answer, but instead helplessly tries to open the lock on her cage.  
Helena insists, ‘Tell me where you are!’  
Eva still can’t hear her, but she can sense her presence, ‘Helena?’ She asks again and again.

It hurts Helena’s soul, to see her sister to helpless and little. She can’t hear her, but she can feel her. So she tries her best to comfort her. She reaches a hand through the bars and touches her face. Eva reacts in a startled manner and touches her cheek, where moments ago Helena’s hand was.  
‘I will get you out.’ Helena promises. ‘Do not be scared.’  
‘Get me out…’ Eva whispers.  
‘все буде добре’ Helena repeats and repeats: Everything will be ok. ‘I’m coming for you. Stay strong just a little longer, angel. I’m coming. They will be sorry..’ 

And somehow Eva appears to calm down. She doesn't hear, but it's like she can understand what she means. She touches her cheek in the same spot again and goes to lie down again.  
‘Helena,’ Eva whispers again, ‘Sestra…’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while since I updated, uni's been keeping me busy... I plan on writing a lot more from now on, so let me know if you'd like me to continue this story :) Any tips or feedback are also greatly appreciated!


	8. Hurry, sestra

‘Helena...’ Sarah whispers, sitting in S’s truck.   
‘What?’ Felix asks. He’s still rattled from their hustle with Krystal. He could never understand how Sarah could do it. Sure, he has done his fair share of stealing, cheating and trickery, but it was different with Krystal somehow. He felt for her.   
‘Never mind.’ Sarah replies, but a moment ago she could’ve sworn she heard Helena’s voice. Help us, she said. 

Back at home Helena opens her eyes. She did it. She found her sister.   
Helena listened to Mrs. S when she said to fight another day. Now she’s making a new promise to her little sister, like in the Ukrainian fairy tales, about blood, revenge and death. She told her she would get her out. And she will, but she will also avenge her. Just like in the fairy tales, she will nail their hands to the wall for putting them on her sister. She will sew them silent for shouting at her sister. Eventually, their bodies will be a warning to anyone, for hurting her family. They will be sorry. 

Sarah tried to pretend that Helena’s voice was just a figment of her imagination; she really did, because that’s what she does. That’s one thing she prides herself on: she’s all head over heart. But then she hears it again, more clearly now: ‘Come back…’

‘Fee,’ Sarah starts, hesitantly, ‘Can you…step on it?’   
‘Why?’ He immediately looks around, ‘Cops?’   
‘I think something is wrong.’  
‘What, besides the fact that we just robbed one of your sisters of her identity to help evil bitch Rachel?’   
Sarah rolls her eyes. ‘Just do as I say, yeah?’   
‘There’s a childhood in a nutshell…’ Felix mumbles annoyed, but he does as she says anyways.

He does ask again, though, ‘What’s the sudden hurry? What’s wrong?’   
‘I think I just heard Helena.’ Sarah looks at him, almost apologetically, ‘Like in my head?’   
‘Right. And what did she say,’ Felix ventures, ‘In your head?’   
‘I’m not sure, okay! Just hurry. I have a bad feeling. Something must’ve happened at the house.’   
Felix takes one look at his sister and knows she’s absolutely serious. He’d never doubt those instincts: they’ve kept her alive far beyond life expectancy for someone with her proclivities. So he hands her his phone, ‘Call Mrs. S.’ 

Just as Helena tries to decide what to do next, she sees Mrs. S’s pocket vibrating. As she crawls over, she decides that she can’t wait for Sarah. It will take too long and Eva can’t wait. 

She picks up Siobhan’s phone and answers it without saying a word.  
‘S?’ She hears on the side, in a panicky voice, ‘S?! Are you there.’   
‘This is not Mrs. S.’ Helena now replies.   
‘Helena? What are you doing with S’s phone?’   
‘She could not answer, so I did.’   
Sarah sighs audibly, ‘Why couldn’t she answer?’   
‘She’s still sleeping.’   
‘Sleeping?!’ Sarah is panicking again, ‘What the bloody hell is going on?’   
‘You have to hurry, Sarah.’ Helena urges her, as she tries to push Siobhan a little with her foot, hoping to wake her. ‘Many things went wrong.’ 

Felix is still driving, but picking up speed with every worried look from Sarah, as she’s on the phone.   
‘What’s going on?’ He whispers to Sarah.   
Hold on, Sarah mouths back to him.   
And then Felix hears Sarah repeat Helena’s words: Siobhan is sleeping.  
That can’t be good. 

‘What do you mean things went wrong? D’you mean we’re in a lot of shit with Rachel, or…?’   
‘Yes, much shit, but not Rachel. Men came in uniforms. They beat Mrs. S and now she is still sleeping, but she will wake up soon.’   
‘Wow! Is she okay? Did you check?’  
‘I check, yes. She is fine, but sestra, listen…’  
But Sarah interrupts her again, impatiently, ‘What men? What did they want?’   
‘Shut up and listen!’ Helena says in a strict tone of voice, ‘They took Eva. I was too late, but she screamed and fought them. She knew them and she was scared. I tried to find her, just like I warned her. You heard me, yes?’ She pauses a little here.  
‘Yeah.’ Sarah says softly.  
‘Eva is being kept in a cage. She’s hurt and lost and hungry. We are her big sisters, so we have to find her. You will find them and I will make them regret. Sarah, hurry.’   
And then Helena abruptly hangs up the phone. 

‘What the hell is going on?!’ Felix demands.  
‘A lot…’ Sarah sighs deeply and stares out the window, trying to gather her thoughts and trying to form a plan for the next tragedy that has just come their way, before starting to explain everything to Felix.

On the floor, Siobhan stirs. Immediately, she feels her head and winces when she finds the spot where she’s been hit. Checking her hand for blood, she finds very little.  
Then she looks up and finds Helena sitting on the floor next to her, with her back to the wall. Her head is tilted towards the ceiling and she seems to be thinking hard. She looks a little lost, a little sad, but mostly very angry.   
When Helena sees Siobhan is awake, she stands up and reaches her a hand, saying:  
‘You’re awake. Good. Where do you keep your gun?’ 

But when Siobhan doesn’t answer straight away, because the room’s still spinning, Helena takes a quick decision: She thinks she knows where she can find Eva. She will go get her on her own. Sarah will come and help her later.   
So she grabs a kitchen knife, and leaves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really love the comments I've gotten so far, so please keep commenting! Let me know what you thinks, or any tips, would be great!


	9. Siobhan

Siobhan wakes up and the first intelligent thing going to her mind is, shit…  
Her head is throbbing and she can’t see straight.  
She can vaguely hear, ‘Where do you keep your gun?’, in the distance. Who’s there? Is it Rachel already? That can’t be right, can it?  
Slowly, she gets up from the floor. She feels like she’s just fought an army of extremely large Russian men. It’s almost like she’s back in Ireland. 

And that’s when it hits her: the house is quiet. This house is never quiet.  
She remembers before she got Sarah, how she used to have people come and go at her house. Some were political refugees, women on the run, children even. But then Sarah came and the house filled with screams and fights and sometimes, on rare occasions, laughter. A few years later, Felix came into their lives. This little boy had filled her home with joy and all things sassy. Later, of course, the endless string of boyfriends and their drama came, brought back home by both her children. The occasional girlfriend even, on Sarah’s part, but they never seemed to cause that many problems. There were fights, punches were thrown and the rare reconciliation, with The Clash in the background.   
Her house has never been quiet. It is now. 

Frantically, Siobhan tries to force her body to conform to her demands and she hoists herself up. If there’s one thing that makes Siobhan Sadler the force to be reckoned with that she is, it’s the fact that she is one hundred percent bloody capable of killing anyone that tries to cross one of her children. So she goes in search of them.

Before even getting to the stairs, she starts to remember bits and pieces she lost during her panic and as the aftermath of frankly a rather massive blow to the head. Sarah is gone. Sarah went to steal Krystal’s identity. Felix went with her to keep her in line. Good, they’ll be back soon.  
Siobhan continues to drag herself up the stairs, vision blurred. 

Upstairs, she searches for Helena. Becoming a grandmother, again, to Helena’s baby was the last thing she’d expected to happen. Then again, everything that has happened the last couple of months wasn’t exactly part of her vision of life.  
She remembers something that Sarah has said to her: ‘She’s not a monster; it’s not her fault that she’s like this.’ It’s strange how those words remind Siobhan of Eva.  
Shit. Eva! 

And then the silence in her house comes abruptly to an end.   
A loud bang at the front door is followed by those familiar characteristic stomping feet: Sarah’s home.  
‘S!’ she calls out loudly. 

‘Go look in the kitchen,’ She hears her order Felix.  
Siobhan knows full well what’s going to happen next. Sarah is going to figure out Eva is gone, or maybe she already knows, and she’s going to be pissed. They’ve just gotten over the Helena incident and now this. Carefully, she feels her head where she’s received the blow. There’s blood in her hair. Perhaps that’ll calm Sarah’s wrath down a little… 

‘Mum!’ Sarah calls out again, more worry in her voice.  
Felix joins in, ‘I can’t find her Sarah. You didn’t speak to her on the phone, did you?’  
Hearing the ‘mum’ warms Siobhan’s heart a little, and so she musters up the courage to go downstairs.  
As she descends, Sarah comes running up to her, ‘Holy shit, are you alright?’  
‘I’m fine, love.’ Siobhan smiles, waiting for the storm to unleash.  
‘You’re not.’ Felix decides, as he takes her hand and leads her to the kitchen. Gently he dabs at her wound with a wet cloth. 

In the corner of the kitchen, Sarah gets more and more inpatient and Siobhan can sense it straight away.  
‘Eva?’ Sarah asks simply, anger flashing through her eyes now.  
Siobhan sighs, ‘There was nothing I could do, love.’  
‘Did you know they were coming for her?’  
‘I did.’  
‘And that they were going to take her?’  
Another sigh, ‘It’s always been like this. I get her back, she gets taken away again. How was I supposed to know things would be different this time?’  
‘Because she told you!’ Sarah explodes, ‘She warned us, didn’t she! You saw her, all beaten up and bruised like that. You don’t think, S, do you! So you just see her like that and think, yea, sending her back would be a great bloody idea!’ Frustrated, Sarah knocks over some kitchen utensils. 

Felix silently picks up the things Sarah has thrown to the ground, as his sister’s tirade continues: ‘So Eva was right, wasn’t she? You were just sick of her, already, so you just packed her off to some psycho’s, didn’t you!’  
‘Don’t even go there, Sarah!’ Siobhan throws down the wet cloth in anger now.  
Felix rolls his eyes at her gesture and decides to just walk away. He knows where this is going between those two. 

Sarah leans into Siobhan, almost spitting her words, ‘Don’t go where? The fact that you trade us whenever you please? ‘Cause that’s the truth, innit?!’  
‘Sarah, shut up!’ Siobhan stalks off, ‘I tried to keep her safe, but there were so many men coming for her and I was hit ‘round the head. What did you expect me to do?’  
‘You could’ve protected her! Taken her away before they were here!’  
Resorting to short, distant sounding answers, Siobhan says, ‘When I realised they were here, it was too late.’  
‘You’re supposed to have your people, didn’t they know? You was on the phone with them about Eva, before we left: they warned you, didn’t you?’  
‘You were…’ Siobhan corrects Sarah’s grammar softly.  
‘Piss off! You lost my sister! Again!!’ Sarah looks like she’s about to lunge for S, with rage pulsing through every inch of her body. Sarah has never been that good with feeling powerless.  
‘I thought you didn’t believe she was your sister, and now you care about her all of a sudden? Or are you just looking for another fight?’ Siobhan raises her eyebrows, mockingly.  
‘She’s my foster sister, she’s family just as much as Felix is.’ Vaguely, Sarah gestures towards where Felix is hiding from their natural explosiveness.  
‘Is she, now? Only when you care to, apparently. Not much of a sister you are than, are you?’ Siobhan throws back.  
‘You lost her!’ Sarah stalks towards S now, ‘You’re a shit mother!’ 

Before Sarah can actually punch her, Siobhan makes herself tall and looks at Sarah strictly, ‘That’s enough, Sarah. Just shut your mouth and listen. Yes, I should’ve listened to Eva when she talked to me.’ She’s silent  
But then Sarah says, ‘But late for that sentiment, isn’t it.’  
Siobhan throws up her hands in frustration, ‘Will you stop fighting me for a second? Stop being so bloody suspicious all the time, Sarah!’  
‘I should’ve started being suspicious much earlier on!’ Sarah spits. 

That’s when Felix has had enough, ‘Okay, you know what? Both of you are just wasting time now! Eva is missing.’  
‘I bloody noticed!’ Sarah punches the wall angrily, not knowing what to do with all her violent energy.  
‘Sarah, just shut up.’ Siobhan notices how his bottom lip is slightly trembling, ‘It’s not just your little sister that’s missing, is it? She may not be related to me through one of your many freaky clone sisters, but she’s my family as well!’  
‘We’ll get her back.’ Siobhan tries to comfort him. He’s always been easier to comfort than Sarah ever was.  
‘How?’ He demands in frustration, ‘Where did they take her, S?’  
‘Yeah, S, where did you…’ Sarah starts, but before she can finish her sentence, Siobhan pulls her into a hug. Time to put an end to this fighting. Time stands still for a little while and the silence returns.  
‘I’m so sorry, Sarah.’ 

‘Art.’ Felix decides, ‘He’ll know how to find her.’  
‘So do I,’ Siobhan adds, ‘I’ve made Eva swallow a chip. It’ll tell us where they’ve taken her.’  
‘And you couldn’t tell me this before?’ Sarah asks.  
‘Well, if you’d only taken the time to listen to me.’ Siobhan bites.  
‘Fine.’ Felix sighs, ‘Find out where she is. I’ll call Art, so he can come over and help you with all of you’re dodgy spyware. Sarah, you find out where Helena’s gone.’  
‘Shit, I completely forgot about Helena...’  
Bitterness creeps into his voice, ‘Yeah, well, makes sense, now that’s you’ve got another ten siblings to worry about.’  
‘Felix…’ Sarah starts.  
‘I’ll call Art.’ He repeats and he walks off.  
Sarah nods, ‘Helena is probably off on a murder spree, probably best if I find her before she actually does.’ 

Anger sets in Siobhan’s jaw, ‘I’ll get a hold of Benjamin.’


	10. Action

Quite unceremoniously, Art crashes through their front door, announcing his presence loudly without saying a word.   
‘Thank God you’re here…’ Felix whispers to him, ‘Everything’s gone to shit.’   
‘So I’ve heard.’ Art nods. Talking to Felix on the phone was nothing short of a mess, but he has put the pieces together, with years of training as a cop. Long story short: a little girl is missing. Not that he ever knew of a third Sadler sibling or yet another clone, but, sure, he’ll take it on. 

Sarah is antsy; he can see that straight away. Her legs tapping to no particular rhythm, much like Beth used to do.   
‘Sarah,’ Art starts, ‘We’ll find her.’   
Sarah nods, but he can tell she doesn’t believe him. He gets that: actions, not empty promises. 

‘Art. It’s good to see a friendly face.’ Siobhan greets him, with a forced smile.   
Pointing to her bandages, he asks, ‘What happened to your head?’   
‘Nothing that can’t be avenged.’   
And that’s how you deliver a threat, Art thinks to himself.   
But he says, ‘Felix said you made her swallow a chip? Will we be able to locate her through it?’   
‘Hopefully.’ Siobhan grabs a laptop, ‘I’m just waiting for Benjamin to arrive, so I can contact my network around the city.’   
‘You don’t think they’ve taken her far?’   
‘Probably not just yet. It makes more sense to keep her somewhere hidden for a while.’ Siobhan is thinking out loud, ‘Carrying around a child over your shoulder in the middle of the night might attract at least some attention.’  
‘That makes sense, yeah…’ 

Art frowns, ‘Description?’  
Felix answers, ‘Dark, angry, dirty…like the rest of us.’   
‘Aged ten.’ Siobhan adds.   
‘Okay, but she looks like Sarah, right?’ Art turns to Siobhan, ‘Do you have a picture of Sarah as a kid?’   
Sarah shakes her head, ‘She doesn’t look like us, not exactly…’  
Art is confused, ‘What…’ He starts.  
‘It’s doesn’t bloody matter, does it!’ Sarah explodes, ‘Just… find a child in a cage. Can’t be that many.’   
Siobhan looks at Sarah with sympathy for a few seconds, then turns to Art, ‘She does resemble Sarah. Enough for you to recognise her.’ 

‘How long is this bloody program taking?’ Sarah takes another kick at the sofa. The air trembles with her rage.   
‘Just a second, love.’   
‘And where the fuck is Benjamin?’ Sarah can’t just sit still, so she starts pacing through the room.   
‘I’m here.’ Benjamin announces himself, ‘I heard you needed to find someone?’   
‘Finally,’ Sarah throws her head back, ‘Hey, wait a minute, that little red dot?’ She points to the laptop screen, ‘Is that Eva?’   
Siobhan edges closer to look, but Benjamin answers for her, ‘Jep, that’s her.’   
‘Great,’ Sarah grabs her leather coat, ‘I know the spot.’   
‘Wow, Sarah, wait!’ Art tries.  
‘Can’t!’ She yells from the door, ‘Helena’s probably already there!’ 

Sarah is running now. She started off slowly, knowing she couldn’t keep that pace, but she doesn’t care anymore. Her left pocket is hanging low from Art’s service pistol that she took on her way out. She’s going to kill them. Maybe Helena already has. Maybe she’s gotten Eva killed with some reckless shit. Sarah ups the pace. 

‘So, tell me again why I can’t involve the police on this one?’ Art asks Siobhan, ‘It is just a missing persons case. A kidnapping.’   
‘Why bother with the police when we have my network?’ Siobhan returns the question.   
‘Because, I don’t know, it’s the right way to do things?’   
‘It’s slow.’   
‘Siobhan, I can track people easily from the station.’   
‘So can my people.’ Siobhan’s jaw twitches slightly in annoyance.   
‘I can track credit cards, plane tickets, run the man Helena saw in her dream, or whatever it was, through facial recognition.’   
‘So can we.’ Benjamin shrugs.  
Art sighs, ‘I can interrogate him, as soon as we have someone.’   
‘We both know my way is more effective.’ Siobhan smiles.   
‘Not if you want her back as quickly as possible!’ Art raises his voice, ‘We have to work together, legal and illegal, on this. I can provide the manpower, the eyes; you can do…whatever it is you do. If we do both, we can have her back in no time.’   
‘Fine.’ Siobhan rolls her eyes, ‘As long as you can look away at times.’   
‘No car bombs.’ Art jokes, but Benjamin looks up at that, a little like he’s been caught.

With the docks in sight, Sarah sprints towards the nearest ship. Hiding in the shadows, she pulls her gun and looks out for anyone approaching. When she sees no one, she creeps closer and tries to enter the boat she thinks is the right one. All of a sudden, she thinks she sees a shadow from the corner of her eye. Quickly, Sarah turns around, but nothing’s there. 

She opens the door without a sound and tiptoes through the darkness. With the gun pointed out in front of her, her heart is racing. Sarah would never admit it out loud, but she’s scared: scared of what she’ll find. 

Then, out of nowhere, a hand is wrapped around her mouth, in a matter of seconds. Struggling, Sarah tries to scratch at the hands, but she’s being dragged back, through another door.   
‘Hush, sestra,’ Someone whispers in her ear, ‘It’s me.’   
Helena. 

Back at the house, Art grabs his coat to call the station. Finally, Siobhan has agreed to put out a large-scale search for her daughter. Apparently, anarchy, with a sense of distrust for the police, has deep roots.   
His coat is light, ‘Where’s my gun?’ Art wonders, to no one in particular.   
‘Sarah.’ Felix concludes straight away. ‘She’s taken it.’   
‘Go after her.’ Siobhan orders Art. ‘She’s going to do something stupid.’   
‘We should let her.’ Felix ventures.  
‘Felix…’ Siobhan tries to argue with him.   
‘Why not, though?’ He’s getting angry again, ‘If whoever has taken Eva all these years and has done God knows what to her, why not let Sarah shoot him?’   
Art decides to ignore that, ‘I’ll go after her.’

But Felix won’t let it go, even after Art has left, ‘Why shouldn’t Sarah shoot him, S?’   
Siobhan doesn’t answer.   
‘Or better still,’ Felix continues, anger making his bottom lip tremble, ‘Why won’t you shoot him? You lost her.’ That one hits Siobhan.  
And that’s when he storms out, following Art.

‘Helena,’ Sarah whispers, ‘What are you doing?’   
‘You will ruin plan.’ Helena simply states.   
‘What plan?’   
‘This is the place I saw in my dreams.’ Helena continues, while looking through a small hole in the door, ‘But Eva is not here. But they could come back.’   
‘Have you searched the ship?’   
‘Not yet. Many patrols.’   
‘So we just sit here and wait?’ Sarah demands, incredulously.   
‘Silence,’ Helena demands, ‘And patience, sestra.’   
‘Piss off…’ Sarah mutters and opens the door. 

Before Helena can stop her, Sarah’s out and running through the corridors. As she’s checking every filthy room on the unused boat, it annoys Helena how not-quiet her twin is. But Sarah doesn’t care; she’s had enough of waiting. Finally, they come to some room that isn’t empty. Sarah rushes in, but Helena checks if anyone is coming or has seen them. Helena has thought this through. 

The room is without windows and the walls are the colour of rust. Helena recognises much of this place, but she doesn’t say it. In the corner there’s some kind of medical equipment set up. Here tubes of blood and other samples were being collected. Next to it, there’s a bed with restraints and a pile of vomit next to it on the floor. 

‘Is this the place you saw?’ Sarah asks, trying to keep the fear and anger from her voice.   
‘Yes.’ Helena answers, pointing to the cage in the other corner, ‘She was there.’   
‘Are you sure?’ Sarah asks again. She walks over to the bed and checks the vomit.   
‘Why are you looking at that?’ Helena asks her.   
‘Chip.’ Sarah sounds angry, ‘She threw it up.’   
‘What chip?’   
‘How I knew she was here. Eva was here, but she’s probably gone now.’ Angrily, Sarah knocks over the equipment, before Helena can tell her again to be quiet.   
‘They’ve been doing all these bloody tests on her!’ She screams. 

Helena did open her mouth, but she closes it again when she finds she’s too late: footsteps are approaching.   
Putting a finger to her mouth, she hides behind the door, crouched like an alley cat.   
Sarah looks confused for a second. Then a man comes in and immediately tries to jump for Sarah, when he spots the intruder. Before Sarah can even grab at her gun, he has his hands around her neck and she falls to the ground. The world becomes vague, but only for a second. 

The next moment, Helena is on top of both of them. Now her hands are around his neck. No, not her hands, a chain. Sarah recovers quickly and stands up, shakily.   
‘Hit him, Sarah.’ Helena says, as she’s struggling to keep the man in her chokehold.   
Shaking the sudden fatigue from her, Sarah balls her fists.  
‘Where’s Eva?’ Sarah shouts to the unknown man. But he can hardly breathe; so Sarah punches him square in the nose. Just to get some of the anger out.   
‘Little girl.’ Helena whispers in his ear, ‘You kept her here.’   
‘Not me,’ The man struggles to answer, ‘Someone…higher up.’   
Sarah punches him again, in the stomach this time, ‘Don’t care! Where is she now? Did they take her away?’   
The man doubles over and Helena decides to grant him just a little more oxygen.   
‘Is she alive?’ Sarah demands.  
‘Who cares?’ The man almost laughs at that.  
Filled with rage, Sarah kicks him in the stomach, hard.   
‘Where is she?’ Helena demands now, with a knife to his throat. She looks almost calm, unlike Sarah.   
He coughs, ‘I don’t know. But she’s gone.’   
‘What did you want with her?’ Sarah screams, fist pulled back and ready to punch him again. 

But Helena is quicker. Before he can answer, she knocks him out with a single blow to the side of the head.  
‘He knew nothing.’


End file.
